2 Bottles of Champagne Later

As Katy and I were heading home, I threw out the idea of mimosas.  Since I only drink beer because liquor gives me the shake throw-ups and wine gives me an immediate migraine - I love drinking champagne because its a quicker, drunker, more fun Lauren.

So we headed to the Wine Spirits store where I tried to purchase the champagne.  When I tried to figure out the parking situation - Katy was already out of the car in a dead sprint across the street towards the store.  Apparently she won't let me purchase anything today.  I made sure she actually turned my car off before I made my way to the store.  We browsed our options but decided that the 2 in 1 champagne bottle was the best deal.  Because in our case, more is always...  well, more.

We then made our way to Wawa to buy some sort of late lunch and orange juice.  I again tried to purchase my sandwich and OJ.  Not only did she man-handle the OJ away from me, she stole my hoagie so all I had to buy was my chips.  I felt very sassy walking around Wawa in my new hair-do.  I felt like a new person.  So I strutted my ass around that store and I OWNED THAT SHIT SON.

We took our purchases and headed home.  After some quick changing on my part, I made my way downstairs to hear Katy scream and then laugh hysterically.  I screamed "IF YOU DROPPED THAT BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE - I'M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN."  Apparently the top exploded as it hit the ceiling, leaving a mark.  I call it a 'beauty mark'.  Also some champagne spilled but the important thing is that it did not break.  We made our first batch of mimosas and ate our lunch.  After polishing off the first batch of mimosas - we made our way upstairs to my room to play karaoke.  How do you 'play karaoke' you ask?  It's pretty basic.  If you don't have a karaoke machine or microphone.  You simply youtube lyrics and use your hairbrush (or someone else's) as a microphone.  Katy chose to sing first.  Then I chose Free Your Mind by En Vogue.  Prejudice.  Wrote a song about it.  Like to hear it?  Here it goes.  FREE YOUR MINDDDDDD.

Then I made Katy since Killing in the Name Of by Rage Against the Machine.  Which she rocked even though she had never heard the song in her life.  Katy chose so eloquently Bitch by Meredith Brooks for me to sing.  Should be my national anthem.  We closed with a duet of sorts.  I chose It's Your Love by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.  I took the Tim part.

We started to get ready for dinner, 2 bottles of champagne demolished.  I decided that I really wanted to dress up so I pulled out one of my really nice dresses to wear.  We got in the car and made our way to Redstone in Plymouth Meeting.  I had never been there before but Katy & Jonathan had told me nothing but wonderful things about it.  We drunkenly told Jonathan about our day of beautifying and mimosas. Somehow I brought up how my boobs hurt because I got my nipples pierced that morning.  He said "I'm sure" laughing sarcastically.  I'm giggling under my breath as Katy took the reigns on that one.  She loves making up stories for her husband.  So she proceeded to tell him all the details of my nipple piercings.  So 2 bottles of champagne later - my nipples are pierced (sorry to disappoint you Jonathan).

We get to the restaurant and immediately get seated because of our reservation.  We get a table right by the fireplace - perfect!  I decide to take glamour shots by the fireplace.  However, at the same time our neighboring table has the waiter taking pictures of them.  Jonathan begins to make fun of the fact that they are both taking pictures when the old anorexic lady yells "TAKE IT ALREADY!"  What a bitch.  Bitch, I've had a bottle of champagne already.  Don't fuck with us.  It's my birthday.

Yes.  I'm wearing a dress I wore to a wedding with my big gaudy fake diamond earrings.  

Classy?  Always.

How do we feel about the new hair?  Good?  I had a male co-worker at TRH tell me that I "look so much better".  Thanks.  Cause I looked like shit before.

After eating and drinking, Katy told the waiter that it was my birthday in case he didn't know.  He replied that he has been told 4 million times.  Which I don't doubt.  So moments later our dessert comes out with a flaming firework coming out of it:

I was super excited but then got nervous because the firework was not faltering.

Nervous (with a double-chin).

After destroying the dessert, I got up to use the restroom leaving my camera on the table.  Always a big mistake.  Katy decided it was a good opportunity to take ugly pictures of herself and Jonathan.  

They are made for each other.

We get home so Jonathan could get ready for his night security job.  Since Katy and I could not find a driver - I decided to just call it a night.  It was a fabulous day and let's face it.  We're not in college anymore.  The days of going out bar hopping for birthdays are far behind us.  So I watched a little tv and then headed for bed.  My birthday extravaganza consisted of hair changing, mimosas, karaoke, dinner and early to bed.  Jealous? 

I am officially in my late 20s.  Somewhat depressing but I'm trying to be really optimistic about it.  I'm trying to change myself for the better both physically and emotionally.  Hopefully this new look will jump start my career and motivate me to get things done.  Because I'm a sassy red-head with vicious blonde highlights and swoopy bangs.  Boom.

"I want a serious girlfriend.  Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back.  Is that psycho?"

-Jake Ryan played by Michael Schoeffling in Sixteen Candles