So I awake from my drunken slumber around 10:30am. I waltz into my mom's room to check my flights. For shits and giggles. I check my Atlanta to Philadelphia flight and it is MAGICALLY NOT CANCELED ANYMORE. Frick. My flight from DFW to Atlanta leaves at 12pm. And I'm in my pajamas, unpacked, still drunk from the night before. Houston, we have a problem.
I try calling Delta again. And again, I get the same automated message. I try to change my flight online and they want me to pay $500. No thanks. So mom and I decide to get dressed and go up to DFW. I throw my stuff in my suitcase, brush my teeth, put on deodorant and we head out the door. Oh and I put on a bra. And pants.
We get to the airport and get in the Delta line. And when I say, Delta line, I mean the longest line in history that is not moving. At all. Meanwhile, I realize how intoxicated I am still from the night before. And I'm in the line from hell. With my mother. Holy shit. I need a sedative.
We watched the Delta workers come in and out of the 'back room'. There would be two workers working at the counter, AT A TIME. What the fuck are the other workers doing? Taking a fucking lunch break?
After an hour and a half and some swaying/almost vomiting into my carry-on, we made it to the front of the line. I tell the Delta woman my situation and at first she didn't say much. I felt screwed. My mom was going to have to buy my drunk ass another plane ticket home because I'm retarded. At first, she told me the first flight she could put me on was Thursday. Then she found something for me on Wednesday. She printed off my boarding passes and told me not to lose them because if I did, I would have to buy another plane ticket. Whew! I did not have to buy another plane ticket, just an exchange. Thank the flight Gods.
We made our way back to the vehicle and back to Fort Worth. I asked mom to take me to Freebird's because it was hangover lunch time. FEED ME A BURRITO STAT.
After we got our burrito on, we headed back to her house. I immediately 86d the bra and pants. Hit the couch with my blankey. Hard. I planned on spending the majority of my day on that couch, watching tv. I found Celebrity Rehab and realized it was going to be a good day. Mom was playing sudoku next to me and watching the show occasionally. I informed her that one girl on the show was one of Tiger Woods' mistresses. She replied with: "Oh ya, Rachel Uchitel? And Janice Dickinson is a mess." Oh snap. Mom knows more about Celebrity Rehab than I do. It's officially the apocalypse. I'm beginning to see what my mom has been doing with her retirement...
My Chili's friend Yajaera text me asking if I still wanted to do dinner at her house that night. Oh shit. Apparently I made dinner plans last night. One of many things I don't remember saying... We made plans for the night, I dragged myself off the couch and into the shower. I got ready and headed over to Yajaera & Aaron's house near Lake Worth. I picked up my part of the 'making dinner' night. Beer.
Yajaera & Aaron's house is super cute! I'm so happy for them even though they are an old married couple. Yajaera's brother and girlfriend were there. Also, Yajaera's cousin Alma and her on/off boyfriend Nick came as well. Yajaera made tacos and they were amazing! After watching some Monday Night Football, Yajaera decided that we needed to go out. We went to a bar around Ridgmar area. They had a band playing upstairs but it had a $10 cover so we decided against it. We kept to the downstairs area where it was pretty dead. We had a nice time catching up. Wasn't the get-crazy-night we had originally in mind but it was a great night anyway! After we got back to their house, I hopped in the Buick and headed back to North Fort Worth.
Tuesday, December 28
This being my last full day in Texas, I decided to visit my grandmother and then go to Dallas to visit my sister/niece and my friend Stephanie. However, first I needed to go to the eye doctor and fix this right eye situation I've got going. For the last few months, I've been wearing my glasses all the time because my eye doctor gave me the wrong prescription contact in my right eye. So time to fix my Cyclops self. My days of driving with my right eye closed are done.
After my eye doctor appointment, I met Darrelyn at McAlister's so she could join me on my day driving around DFW. Even though McAlister's got rid of the one thing I have eaten there since Day 1 of McAlister's coming into my life. Fuck you McAlister's.
Darrelyn was nervous about driving in the Buick. But I didn't want to waste her gas so I insisted on taking the Love Machine. We made our way to South Fort Worth to visit my grandmother.
Darrelyn was a big fan of the ghost radio. She would turn it up a little bit then it would start blasting.
It started raining so I used the windshield wipers for the first time. I was nervous.
We got to the rehab facility in one piece. My mom and grandmother love Darrelyn and were more excited to see her than me. My grandmother was in her wheelchair which was a good sign. She seemed to be doing better. After a visit, we headed down the road to Dallas.
We arrive at my sisters to hang out for a bit. My niece was in full-force crazy mode as usual. After a visit and my sister calling me out on my huge forehead (thanks bitch), we headed to Uptown to visit Stephanie. Stephanie was hanging out with another old Carino's alum Alex. We get to Primo's to find Stephanie & Alex has already enjoyed a few happy hour margaritas. Darrelyn and I immediately jumped into the fun. Stephanie, Alex & I all caught up on old A&M college stories. We even made a chart of all of our Carino's hook ups. Some lists impressive, some not so much. And many we'd like to forget altogether. But that's college for ya.
Darrelyn and I decided it was time to head back to Fort Worth before it got any later. So we said our goodbyes and hit the road.
Scared? You should be.
We got back to Fort Worth and headed to Boston's because it was Tuesday $2 you call-its. Even though it was busy, we still managed to steal a table. After a couple minutes, some random dude asked if he could sit with us. We said sure and kind of ignored him at first. He began talking to us, telling us that he was staying at a nearby hotel and that he fixed Air Conditioners. Please, lets get married. Now.
He began to hit on me a little too much. He payed for our bill (even the food that Darrelyn and I ingested in front of him - not offering him any). He asked us to go back to the hotel with him to swim. I said: "I don't swim". He said, what about the jacuzzi? I said: "I don't do bathing suits".
Stranger, I'm not coming back to your 'hotel' with you so you can hit me in the head with a brick and bury me in the closest ditch.
After he FINALLY left, Darrelyn and I stayed for a couple more beers. We then decided to call it a night and parted our separate ways. Darrelyn said 'bye' and headed to her car. I said "Bitch! I'm not going to see you again." She laughed and said she forgot. I made her give me an emotional hug. Time to go home and pack for my plane trip the next day.
"Checking your label. Just as I thought! Maaaade in heaven..."
-Doug Butabi played by Chris Kattan in A Night at the Roxbury
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