The Judgement Free Zone

It has happened.  It's the apocalypse.  It's official.

I have joined a gym.

It is called Planet Fitness and is a pretty laid back gym.

Yup, the motto is "the judgement free zone".  So I've decided to say, when anyone looks at me or even glances at me, I respond with, "Stop, this is the judgement free zone".  Suffice to say, I have alienated several people at the gym.  Some of my friends have met guys at the gym.  I figure this is never going to happen for me because either most of the guys are married or are what I call 'gym rats'.  Gym rats spend 5-6 hours out of there day at the gym.  The have no jobs.  No lives.  It is there hang out.  Like Sonic is to high schoolers.  Also, I always look my worst at the gym so no one in there right mind is going to want to tap this:

But I'll keep my options open.

The gym is your typical set-up.  Upstairs is a stretching area with ellipticals/treadmills and some weight equipment but no tvs.  To the immediate right of the entrance is the area I have chosen to name: "Steroid Use Area".  This area is strictly for the hardcores.  All the different sized dumbbells and intense weight lifting mechanisms are there.  I don't even step into that zone because there are a massive amount of judgers.

I stick to this area:

It has a line of several treadmills then another line in front of it with ellipticals and biking machines.   These lines are in front of about fourteen tvs.  The channels are the locals (FOX, ABC, NBC & CBS), then ESPN and CNN.  Also, the Food Network is on two tvs.  Which I find bizarre.  I guess for some people it is motivation.  For me, it just pisses me off.  I don't want to be running while I watch Paula Dean eat a stick of butter.  That is not my idea of fun.  So that channel makes me irritated.  They also have a "Pizza Monday" at my gym and a "Bagel Breakfast".  What's the point of going to the gym when you are going to be eating a New York slice while biking?  To each his own.

I usually go to the gym after I get off work (10pm-12am).  However, one time I ended up going to the gym after I had dropped Katy off at the airport early one morning.  I got to the gym around 8am and found that the gym had transformed to ELDERLYVILLE.  Old people left and right.  But they are not necessarily working out, its like social hour.  The girls are all huddled up at the bike machines while the guys are at the weights.  It is the most bizarre thing ever.  All the treadmills have mirrors behind them on the walls.  I was running on the treadmill as I looked up to the second story to find a Pa staring at the mirror, watching my ass.  THIS IS A JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE SIR.  It is also a elderly creep-free zone.  That's just not in the brochure.  So if you are over 60 and are looking for some action.  Head to Planet Fitness between the hours of 6 and 11 am.  Canes and walkers welcome.

I was on the elliptical Tuesday night watching North Carolina play Illinois on ESPN.  When I looked over at the tv next to it which was playing the 2010 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.   What better motivation while working out than to see a bunch of skinny bitches in lingerie?  I was hooked. So here is a rundown of the show - it was excellent.  The actual runway show took place November 10th in New York City.  The show is neat because it shows the behind the scenes as well.  It gives you the feel of it being live.  Even though it's not.  And heavily edited.  Oh well.  Also, I am not the best person to go to when it comes to fashion so check out my friend Lizz's blog for anything and everything about fashion - it is TERRIFIC!

Here is what the stage looked like.  The place was housed with the usual celebrities: Vin Diesel, Adrian Grenier, Malin Akerman, Hilton sisters, Gerard Butler, and Tyson Beckford to name a few.  Also Maroon 5's Adam Levine and King's of Leon frontman Caleb Followill in attendance (both have girlfriends on the runway).

Here is my first favorite outfit modeled by Alessandra Ambrosio.  She is a 29 year old Brazilian model (Italian and Polish descent).  Most of her work has been with Victoria's Secret and she was the first spokesmodel for there "PINK" line.  Aside from modeling, she is an ambassador for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.  She is a contracted "Angel" and has been doing the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show since 2000.  She has one daughter (born 2008) with her fiance, California businessman Jamie Mazur.

My next favorite outfit is modeled by Candice Swanepoel.  She is a 22 year old South African model.  Candice has done many covers (Vogue, Elle), advertisements (Nike, Diesel) and runways (Tommy Hilfiger, Dolce and Gabbana).  However, she is best known for her work with Victoria's Secret.  She has been dating fellow model Hermann Nicoli since 2006.

Then they showed a video that showcased some of the view points of the models of there fellow Angel models.  Its where they compliment each other and say they wish they could be the other.  And blah, blah, blah.  When you know they can't stand each other.

Then Katy Perry came out and performed her latest single "Firework" (thus, the outfit):

She had some Victor/Victoria back up dancers behind her which were odd.  Personally, Katy Perry has one of the hottest bodies in celebritism right now.  So she can pretty much rock out any outfit she has on whether it's formal wear or a bikini.  Or this.  

Then Miss Candice Swanepoel herself did a little intro video.  I call it the "anticipation" video.  She just talks about how it feels moments before you hit the runway.  In her cute little accent.  Then, as if by magic, she starts down the runway.  Give these producers an Emmy people.  The theme of this next set of outfits was very 'country'.  Cue the country music.

I would never wear this outfit in the bedroom but it is pretty cool (said by Miley Cyrus on SNL).  However, I have absolutely fallen in love with this model, how cute is she?!?  Her name is Lindsay Ellingson and she is a 24 year old model from San Diego, CA (AN AMERICAN!).  She has walked in numerous shows (Chanel, Christian Dior, John Galliano, etc.).  Her campaigns include Moschino and Tommy Hilfiger.  She first walked for Victoria's Secret in 2007.  She was also chosen to be a spokeswoman for "Body by Victoria" alongside three other models.

I absolutely love this lingerie and would definitely wear it in the bedroom.  Even if it is by myself.  The model is Gracie Carvalho.  She is a 20 year old Brazilian model.  She has done a lot of Brazil work but is a newcomer to the States since 2008.  She has walked for Carolina Herrera, Ralph Lauren and Vera Wang.  She currently campaigns for Express, DKNY Jeans and Gap, to name a few.  She is expected to be one of the most sought after newcomers.

Next was a sports themed show with Lady GaGa's Bad Romance blasting.  In tow, several male dancers dressed up as gymnasts.  It's go time.

I wasn't so much for the awkward soccer ball look.  But for the one in it, another favorite model!!!  Her name is Behati Prinsloo and she is a 21 year old Namibian model.  She was discovered in a South African supermarket by a photographer.  Next thing she knew, she was doing a shoot in London becoming a model.  She has been on the cover of Italy's Muse magazine and the British Telegraph Magazine.  Her ad campaigns include Chanel, H&M and Hugo Boss.  She started doing the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in 2007 and has been doing print work for PINK.  Before becoming a model, she was going to be a marine biologist (don't they all?).  She has been in a long term relationship with fellow model Jamie Strachan.  

I thought this lacrosse outfit was uber cute.  It is modeled by Shannan Click who is 27 year old American model from San Dimas, CA (do you think she knows Bill & Ted?)  She is also stunning.  Add her to the list of my favs.  Her first big modeling gig was with GUESS?  She has walked for Alexander McQueen, Prada and Miu Miu.  Her most recent ad campaigns have been with Pepe Jeans, GAP and Tommy Hilfiger.  

Then there was a video of the history of Angel wings.  In which, Chanel Iman BAWLED when she got to try on her wings for the first time.  Someone just shoot me now.  It was followed with her walking the runway as Akon hit the stage performing his latest single "Angel".  How cute.

Now I'm not a huge fan of Akon.  It stems from when I saw him in concert on a Spring Break South Padre trip in college.  He fell off the stage and lost his microphone, yet his music was still coming out of the speakers perfectly...  Ummmm, what could of happened?!?  Akon could not of been pulling an Ashlee Simpson?  Oh yes he was:

Here is a picture of him from the South Padre concert.  Sorry the quality isn't great.  I was far away and it was night thus the blackness.  And well Akon is, um, very black.  But he's wearing a white shirt so it makes it easier to spot him.  This was right before he took off his shirt, dry humped a girl on stage and then fell off the stage.  Oh South Padre...

This was by far my favorite of the 'Angel' outfits.  And the shoes, LOVE.  It is modeled by Anja Rubik who is a 27 year old Polish model.  She was introduced to modeling while attending a British high school in Paris.  She began her career soon after graduating high school and has graced many covers.  She has modeled for many designers such as Oscar de la Renta, Calvin Klein and Louis Vuitton.  She started doing the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in 2009.  Check out the wings from the back:

GORGEOUS!

Candice again, she has legs that go on for days.  And huge boobs.  Bitch.

Now the next show was themed 'Wild Things'.  Things are about to get... wild.

Alessandra again.  Love the gold with the black and white.  And the cuffs, cute!

There was another huge peacock inspired wing outfit that followed later but I love this one 10 times more.  The combination of the lingerie with the gold necklace turned headpiece is stunning.  The gold with the exotic blue and green colors are magnificent.  This is modeled by Erin Heatherton, a 21 year old model from Skokie, Illinois.  She was discovered on a beach while vacationing in Miami.  I cannot tell you how many times that has happened to me while vacationing in Port Aransas.  Too many times to count.  She has walked for Diane von Furstenberg and modeled for Caroline Herrera, Michael Kors and Alberta Ferretti.  She has done the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show since 2008.  She has been in the VS SWIM Catalog and ads for "Body by Victoria".  

Then some scary looking male dancers doing animal moves came out and took over the stage.  Go away dancers, I'm here for a Victoria's Secret runway show.  Take your grunting and animal face paint elsewhere.

To finish the show, was the PINK line.  It housed Katy Perry singing a collection of her songs starting with my personal fav, 'Teenage Dream'.  Don't ask me why I am obsessed with this song, it is embarrassing.

First off was Behati again.  Not only do I love the lingerie but I just love the Pink line.  It's so cute, colorful and true to Victoria's Secret.  Yay rainbows!

This was so simple but I love the undies, bag and sparkly shirt! LOVE PINK!  The model is Constance Jablonski who is a 20 year old French model.  In 2010, she was named as one of the faces of Estee Lauder. Prior to becoming a model, she wanted to be a professional tennis player and played competitively for nine years.  She has walked to Dior, Burberry and Alexander McQueen.  She has done ad campaigns for Hermes, Nine West and Tse.  

Then there was the finale as all of the 34 models hit the runway as bubbles and multi-colored balloons consumed the place.  Great show as I am pounding it out on the elliptical.  Crying.  Because I will never look like that.  All I have to look forward to is Planet Fitness' Pizza Monday.

Katy and Akon get there applause as they bow to the crowd.  

Who needs Heidi Klum?  These girls have got it.  

See you next year!

Hopefully with the judgement free zone, I'll be 20 pounds lighter.  Or heavier.  We'll see.

"Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented.  All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns."

-Romy White played by Mira Sorvino in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion