It's Casey Affleck (Joaquin's brother-in-law, married to his sis Summer, brother to Ben) following him around with a camera and crew. The past year has been fueled with rumors - is it a documentary or a Christopher Guest-like mockumentary? And recently there have been two sexual-based lawsuits against Casey Affleck by two women involved in the 'movie'. All of which I will interpret. The trailer came out recently so watch it for yourself first. Then we will discuss. Intensely.
It opens with a philosophical monologue of some sort that goes a little something like this:
That's you.
Drops of water and you're on top of the mountain of success.
But one day you start sliding down the mountain and think - wait a minute - I'm a mountaintop water drop.
I don't belong in this valley, this river, this little dark ocean with all these drops of water.
But then one day, it gets hot and you slowly evaporate into air, way up higher than any mountaintop - all the way to the heavens.
Then you understand that it was at your lowest that you were closest to God.
Life's a journey that goes round and round and the end is closest to the beginning.
So it's change you need, relish the journey.
This can be interpreted in many different ways but I think most of us are intelligent enough to get the gist. Joaquin's the water drop. And the mountain is fame. Boom.
So lets do a play-by-play of the trailer:
1. Joaquin being surrounded by paparazzi at the Late Show with David Letterman preceding his infamous Farrah Fawcett-like interview with Dave. Which believe me, we'll be going over as well. It is just too juicy not to.
2. His first stage show in which the crowd was half laughing/half jamming because he was so terrible.
3. The limo ride after his first show during which his head is being covered by the same sweater I'm assuming he was wearing at the 'concert'. Too embarrassed to show his face. He should be.
4. This part is what I like to call the 'crazy hair suit fitting smoking cig' scene.
5. Another paparazzi shot of his Two Lovers premiere which was his last movie.
6. A shot of him walking around with his crazy hair in a room. I'm guessing this is post-Dave interview.
7. A shot of his back side on a DJ booth/sound stage.
8. Next is a fun shot of him eagle running down a corridor. Cause he is as free as a bird?
9. Now is an intense brother-to-brother hug between Joaquin & P-Diddy Puffy Puff Daddy Sean Combs himself. Who is rumored to be his music manager. Which just pushes the whole belief that it is all just a hoax to a new level.
10. Then there is a horrifying shot of Joaquin without a shirt on. Which flashes me back to anyone I've ever dated. It also is just disturbing because he looks homeless. It also tries to put forward some kind of sympathy from the viewers as he looks longingly at the ground in wonderment. Is he at a low point? Or is he farting?
11. Then there are some anger shots. There is a shot that looks like he is crowd surfing at one of his 'concerts'. But after some research, it turns out to be Joaquin attacking a heckler in the crowd. Then him getting escorted out by some 'bouncers'.
12. Now there is a weird shot of Joaquin and some one fighting in what looks like a hotel room. With some more research on my part, this scene illustrates the aftermath of something incredibly disturbing. Stay tuned to learn what that is.
12. Fist pumping in a driveway.
13. Flowing with a local.
14. Hanging out with his homies.
15. Then a couple shots of him in a church. The first in a pew in which Joaquin's hand is covering his heart. Which only leads me to believe that he is doing the Pledge of Allegiance in a church. Or he is trying to pray and is failing? Then he is hugging what looks to be a priest/preacher/teacher of God. With the craziest of hair shots to date.
16. Finally, the closing scene is of Joaquin in a room as the door closes and the scene darkens. Dramatic. Nice job Casey.
17. And in conclusion, Joaquin with his shades as the crowd chants 'Joaquin'. Which I'm sure was done a couple of weeks ago in a sound studio by a couple of NYU college students that were promised beer afterwards.
Well, what do we think? Will we go see it? Probably not. Instead I'll just wait and listen to what the critics write/say. Here is how some reviews have gone so far:
1. The Los Angeles Times reported that the film featured "more male frontal nudity than you'd find in some gay porn films and a stomach-turning sequence in which someone feuding with Phoenix defecates on the actor while he's asleep". Yup. That just happened. There is a scene in which a reported 'rival musician' poops on Joaquin's face. Revert to number 12 above for further explanation. Or just take a minute to soak that in.
2. There is also a reported scene in which Joaquin is receiving oral sex by a publicist. Uh, sure.
3. Is this the true final cut that Affleck will send to Magnolia Pictures who is the company who bought I'm Still Here for distribution? I guess someone had to buy it. I guess number 1 & 2 are enough to not go see it. Ever. Number 1 and 2. Haha, I'm funny.
So lets talk about his David Letterman appearance. Watch:
Joaquin was there to promote his new and 'final' film Two Lovers. The interview is in a few words: bizarre, awkward, funny, sad and painful. It is filled with Dave doing his best to compliment Joaquin's new film and his career as an actor. It has been three years since Joaquin's last appearance and will probably be forever until his next. Unless he is looking for somewhere to perform is Hip/Hop. In that case, Dave will be first on his list of concert dates. Dave of course could not ignore his physical appearance. His crazy hair and beard but he is surprisingly still dressed nice. Even though you get the sense that he has been in that suit for a couple weeks. Sleeping in cupboards and cardboard boxes. The audience is continuously laughing uncontrollably at the hilariousness of Joaquin. Is it a joke? Or is he serious? Then Dave asks him how his days were with the Unibomber. Which lets face it, is fucking funny. Dave then asks him why he is leaving acting and for him to reconsider. However, Joaquin is confused and responds by stating that he does not know why he is leaving acting. Um, ok. Joaquin then says that he is working on his Hip/Hop as the crowd laughs. In which Joaquin responds in asking Dave what his crowd is on. Nitrous? Warm Pepsi? The real question is, what kind of drugs is Joaquin on? I'm thinking a cocktail of different pills mixed with a dash of heroin and rimmed with some cocaine. Then Dave asks Joaquin to set-up the clip from Two Lovers. Joaquin responds in silence in which is my favorite part of the show - Paul Shaffer jackass laughs. Who's to blame him? That shits funny. Joaquin responds with "are you fucking serious" about his "maniacal laughter". Joaquin starts to get pissed as Dave says "I'll come to your house and chew gum". So Joaquin naturally puts his gum underneath Dave's desk. Dave moves on to the clip again. Right before the clip starts to play - Joaquin takes his gum back. Naturally. After the clip, Dave says "Joaquin, sorry you couldn't be here tonight". Uh, agreed. Dave concludes with an apology to Farrah Fawcett and congrats Joaquin on his new career. Joaquin is already trying to leave when Dave tries to go to a break. Suffice to say - that interview was visibly awkward. I think Dave would welcome Joaquin back with open arms. Those type of ratings would be stupid to pass up. Especially if Tone Loc, MC Hammer & P Diddy joined Joaquin on stage with a rendition of "Imagine".
With all this controversy and wonderment comes really bad press for the movie. A couple of weeks ago a producer of the film, Amanda White, filed a $2 million lawsuit against Casey Affleck. In a 19 page complaint, White claims that Affleck acted inappropriately with "uninvited and unwelcome sexual advances in the workplace". Her list of damages include sexual harassment, breach of oral contract and intentional infliction of emotional distress. She also claims that Affleck owes her money for her services as a producer. Affleck quickly shot back threatening to counter-sue if White did not back down. Affleck claims that White is just pissed because she got terminated from the production over a year ago. So things looked ok for Casey - someone looking for a pay off it looks like.
Then a $2.25 million lawsuit was filed against Affleck by Magdalena Gorka who was the cinematographer for the 'documentary'. Gorka claims that Affleck engaged in a pattern of harassing behavior and refused to pay or credit her when he forced her to leave the project.
With what is happening in the film, it is hard not to believe these two women. I mean there is a scene in which Joaquin gets orally pleased by a member of the staff. It seems that the only thing Affleck has going for him is that he is being defended by female friends over the sexual harassment claims. It is going to be interesting to see how this all plays out. Especially after the film is released.
So real or fake? Joaquin has done nothing since Two Lovers and has nothing in the works according to imdb.com. Personally, I'm leaning towards the real. On a serious note, I think Joaquin is a very tortured soul. I mean we don't hang on weekends and shoot hoops so I've never actually met him. But then again, celebrities are my friends and I am entitled to my opinions. On October 31, 1993, outside The Viper Room in LA, Joaquin witnessed as his very talented brother River overdosed and died in his arms. Joaquin called 911 himself which was later rebroadcast on radio and TV the world over, repeatedly. That event could alter any one's personality or behavior continuously through out their life. In April 2005, Joaquin went to rehab for alcoholism. In January 2006, he was in a car accident that could of taken his life but he managed to walk away without any major injuries. The accident was reported to be caused by brake failure. Just like anyone, Joaquin has had his ups and downs throughout his life. However, with everything that has happened in his life, I think he has hit a breaking point. Thus, the hair. And the Hip/Hop. October 2008, he announced his retirement from acting.
I'll let you come up with your own opinion on I'm Still Here. If it does turn out to be fake, my tortured-soul bit is going to look idiotic but those are the risks I enthrall myself into. In conclusion, Joaquin looks like one crazy bastard throughout the film. And life. He's a mountaintop water drop.
"What do you think you are, for Chrissake, crazy or somethin'? Well you're not! You're not! You're no crazier than the average asshole out walkin' around on the streets and that's it."
-R.P. McMurphy played by Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
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