So I got another job. I'll tell you more about it once I have gone through training. It is closer and the money flow will be more consistent. I'm excited about it, I hope everything turns out for the best.
Here are a few fun stories from my short time at the Fox:
When I was going through training, I grabbed a drink from the ice/soda area. This area is also the hang out area for all the servers. I was getting ice when someone asked me, "Is that drink for you or for a table?" I said it was for me and they responded with "DON'T USE THE ICE." I was startled and just stared at her. Continuing to stare at her, I turned my glass over and emptied it, asking no questions. People were just staring at me when someone finally said, "There are worms in the ice." Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, ok. So suffice to say, I have not personally enjoyed the ice there. It reminded me of a story told to me by a friend. She was in the drive through of Taco Bell and ordered a burrito. The Taco Bell worker told her that they could not make that because their bean tube was backed up. Bean tubes and ice worms. The things you would rather not know about the food and drink you ingest.
I have met some interesting people as you can imagine. I was standing by the front door and some older guy (50s/60s) came in with a large wood piece, much like a carpenter's square, that looked like it was used in an architecture class. We paid no attention to him when he came over and said, "Can you check my wood?" Two other girls and I just stood stunned and responded with dead boner-less silence. When his joke epically failed, he just walked into the restaurant and sat himself.
I also had one of the worst tables I have ever had in my life a couple weeks ago. This guy is known by all the servers as a jackass who doesn't order hardly anything and just sits at your table for hours to watch the UFC fights. He and his 'girlfriend' arrived at 5:30 pm (they started charging the cover for the fight at 6) and sat in my section. All the servers immediately warned me about him and said to get a credit card from him to pre-authorize because he has walked out on a server before. Great. Perfect. Cannot wait. I walked over and they didn't order anything. They sat there for about 30 minutes before they ordered a cup of ice and a side of french fries. I asked for a credit card and they said they didn't have one. I asked for an ID that I could hold and they said they didn't have one. They said they had cash and I said whatever and walked off. This is going to be a long night. As I was waiting for their fucking french fries, a server who was my section buddy came over and had a story for me. She said that a neighboring table ordered drinks but she did not grab a credit card from them. My horrible table called her over and asked her why she didn't get a card from them. She told them that it is every servers right to ask for credit cards but she hadn't asked one from hers yet because they hadn't ordered food yet. The jackass then told her that I was a racist. Cool. I brought them their fucking french fries, he asked me where I had been and also told me that he complained about me. I responded with, "Cool man." I walked off. They spent the next 7-8 hours at that table ordering nothing. The 'girlfriend' kept leaving throughout this whole time to run errands. And by run errands, I mean she would leave multiple times smuggling in items such as nonalcoholic drinks. At one point, she smuggled in turkey for her boyfriend. Turkey. Like lunch meat. In a sack. I later found the empty turkey sack under the table. He didn't even bother destroying the evidence. It was like seeing a tumbleweed floating through a breeze underneath my table. After all of this, they still tried to WALK OUT WITHOUT PAYING THEIR $2.47 TAB. I caught them and he gave me a $5 and told me to keep the change. It was a bigger tip than I expected. In summation, these accusatory smuggling bastards who are repeat customers took up one of my tables for almost 8 hours leaving me some change. Only because I forced them to.
I have been having a lot of trouble with their section system. For the summer, it has been a sign-up system. That has changed since we have gotten busier as some managers are writing the sections around 3PM for the night shift. Everyone goes in at 5PM but, more than once other servers have switched me into the worst section of the restaurant before I have gotten there. I cannot stand it. That is another reason why I am leaving. There was this terrible night of people talking about me behind my back like we are in elementary school on the playground. They were wondering why the managers were putting me in better sections than them. Well it is because I am better than them. At everything. And prettier. And sexier. I also have long red hair which is better than anyone else's. To top off this night, as I was leaving the parking garage, an ambulance pulled in front of me. I was wondering what they were doing until I saw a guy dead on the side of the road. Yup, dead. He was young and did not really look homeless. It looked like he had OD'ed or it was alcohol poisoning. What a bizarre night. When I got home, I told Jonathan about my horrible night. When I told him about the dead person, his response was laughter. I thought that was very odd but to each his own.
Sundays have become really crazy. There are many Eagles fans but even more Steelers fans which is weird since we are not in Pittsburgh. However, the Fox is a Steelers bar. So they were giving a special on IC beer cans. I had no idea what this was. So I went and asked a fellow server after the Alley Rally meeting. She laughed at me and said that it was Iron City beer, a local beer from Pittsburgh. I love the idea of bars selling canned beer. Classy. So I naturally, tried to sell the shit out of it. I had one table that described it as: "It tastes like piss but it's great". IC Beer.
The girls I work with are really interesting. As much as I can't stand there bitching and immaturity, I really have grown to like a few of them. Also, I like to creep listen to their conversations because they are RIDICULOUS. Like one girl is a mirror image of Snooki, inside and out, except this girl is prettier. And taller. She has the accent, dark brown tan, and she bones any Jersey/South Philly boy that moves. She even sometimes sports the poof. I usually spend most of any shift staring at her. Another girl asked someone if milkshakes cured hangovers. She says she had heard that from her sister and it had to be true because her sister was an alcoholic. Sure, why not.
The other night I had an older guy and two other guys. They were really nice and were interested in me. One even got my blogspot address and said he would become a follower. So I'll give him a personal SHOUT OUTTTTTTTTT. The older guy turned out to be a Benjamin Franklin impersonator. With a business card. Yes, these people exist. I would love to just follow him around for a day to see his many interactions. He was a shit show to the extreme. It made my night. I'm thinking about applying to be his Abigail; but, an Abigail who has red hair, a Southern accent and sounds drunk 24/7. I've got to stretch my impersonations.
Speaking of drunk history, go to youtube and type in drunk history. There are many volumes, watch them all. Disclaimer: their is some random vomiting but it's totally worth it. Tesla was the electric Jesus. Enjoy.
This is dedicated to all the people that have told me that I am the Naomi of the workplace. I fucking hate you guys.
"I hate this fucking place sometimes, you know. Why the fuck do we need four people on at this time of day, man? Look at this place, it's fucking dead! I swear, Dan needs to clean the shit out of his fucking brain sometimes, man. Fucking asshole. What are you looking at, fuck-wad?"
-Naomi played by Alanna Ubach in Waiting...
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