Monday, April 23, 2012

Hockey Is a Sport

So I've been introduced to many new things by my boyfriend but as a lover of sports, one has stood out above the rest.  It is called "hockey". 

Other than The Mighty Ducks Trilogy (yes, even the 3rd movie), I don't know jack shit about hockey.  I know that you use a stick to get a puck into a goal.  Ice is the stage.  And that "knucklepuck" shots are hard to miss.

And Emilio Estevez will lead you to victory.

At first, I was very adamant about liking hockey.  I am the type of person that at 27 years of age, I am a 100% sure I already knows my likes and dislikes.  I don't like to try new things.  Like seafood.  Please stop trying to get me to like fish or shrimp.  I don't like it. I never will. It smells like something that has been rotting on the ocean floor for the past 20 centuries.  Because it has.  I'll stick to beef and chicken.  Cows and chickens are friendly.  And have legs.  Thus, I'll eat them happily.

However, after watching months of hockey, I have become slightly obsessed.  Players beat the shit out of each other.  And the referee's let them do it.  It's utterly bizarre.  It's like Fight Club except on ice, less secretive and Brad Pitt's absent.

Like my boyfriend, I have become a huge Philadelphia Flyer's fan.  They have a long history of badassness.  They acquired the name "Broad Street Bullies" during the 1972-73 season and later brought the Stanley Cup to Philadelphia in 1974 for the first time.  The won again that subsequent year in 1975 but have not one again since.  

I got to attend my first Flyer's game with Teghen in March.  


He geared me up in a jersey that he owned.  It was an XL and I looked like I was carrying triplets in it.  However, I wore it proudly.  Attending the game was a completely different experience than watching it on tv.  Hearing the puck hit the walls and slap off sticks was incredible and heart pumping.  


We won the game!  As a last ditch effort, sometimes loosing teams will choose to bench their goalies in an attempt to add an extra skater to achieve a last-minute goal.  It is called an "empty net".  However, that can back-fire when the winning team gets the puck and heads down the ice for an easy score.  This is what happens to fans when this occurs:

The amount of chins and thumbs-ups that are happening here are frightening.  I know ladies, back off.  He's mine.

I took Katy Anne to a game a week later and we had a blast.  There was a lady standing behind us who was a Flyers fan but it still did not stop her from yelling at the flaws of her own team.  However, we deduced that she was standing the whole time because she was too large to actually fit in her seat.  We spent most of the time drinking, walking around and taking ugly pictures in our seats.  Here are a few to enjoy:

 I call this one my Billy Bob Thornton Sling Blade face.

Thoughts? Questions? Comments?

I think if I didn't pencil in my eyebrows, this facial expression would be less effective.


Again, we won and had a blast.  It was a good ladies night out for us!

I am still learning a ton but it is exciting to learn and love something completely new.  Following the teams and players is going to make watching the Olympic hockey games more exciting.  "Hey, I know that guy playing for the U.S.S.R." will most likely come out of my mouth at some point.

The Stanley Cup playoffs are currently in the works and the Flyers have already beat off the heavily favored Pittsburgh Penguins in the first round. So if you are watching, keep the Flyers in your prayers and watch a little of the game.  You'll be surprised at how addicting it is.  It you hate it, then turn the channel back over to TLC.  You seem like that type anyway.

Oh, and as an extra bonus.  Black people DO play hockey.  On ice.  Proof:

And you just thought it was Kenan Thompson. It's knucklepuck timeeeeee!!!!!!!


"Neither do hockey players.  Have you guys ever seen a flock of ducks flying in perfect formation? It's beautiful.  Pretty awesome the way they all stick together.  Ducks never say die.  Ever seen a duck fight? No way.  Why? Because the other animals are afraid.  They know that if they mess with one duck, they gotta deal with the whole flock.  I'm proud to be a Duck, and I'd be proud to fly with any one of you.  So how about it?  Who's a Duck?"
-Gordon Bombay played by Emilio Estevez in The Mighty Ducks

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